playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
