I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
