Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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