Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
