can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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