She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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