very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
