It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
did i walk over a car last night?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
