sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
