Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
