omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
