Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
