She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
