You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
