Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
