Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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