I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
