i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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