I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
