i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
