You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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