peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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