i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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