I think im going to throw up on grandma
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
