I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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