therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Randomize
