i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
