Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
