erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
