Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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