Little spoons don't ask big questions
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
