I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I will be naked everywhere
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize