Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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