the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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