Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
