i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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