yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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