Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
