I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
