He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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