im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need a burrito and a hug.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
