So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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