i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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