She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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