It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
