Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
