we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
