one might say we're banned from that church
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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