he wants to bone in the snuggie
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
