Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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