If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
