yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
