I'm gonna have a badass scar
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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