He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it's like iHOP with fire
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
