I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
