btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
