I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
