Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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