chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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