Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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