Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
